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It’s that time of year again. As a parent, you need to help your Grade 9 child with their subject choices. You may wonder what the best subject combination is for your child’s unique abilities, or you might be dreading the possibility of making the ‘wrong’ choice. This can indeed be a daunting process, but it doesn't have to be. Different approaches to take with Grade 9 subject choices:  Approach 1: Play-it-Safe Choose the ‘BIG 6’ subject combination. This combination includes;
Why the Play-it-Safe Option is Good This approach allows admission to most post-school courses in South Africa, keeping many career options open, in alignment with course requirements. Why the Play-it-Safe Option Could be Restrictive This may result in being less prepared for the specific post-school course your child may choose. For example, a safe subject combination might not be as beneficial for someone interested in Business. In such cases, subjects like Business Studies, Economics, and Accounting might be more suitable. Similarly, for a medical-related career, subjects like Life Sciences, Physical Sciences, and an easier third subject that can boost the overall average might be more advantageous. Approach 2: The Master of Few  This approach involves selecting subjects that align more closely with your child's post-school career interests. It can lead to increased academic success as the course content will be more relevant to their chosen field. Since it can be difficult to know all the available careers, a career assessment career assessment can provide valuable guidance. My Own Story My mother, a psychologist, conducted my career assessment in 2002 when I was in Grade 9. She recommended several careers for me, including psychologist, teacher, and pastor. As a teenager, I thought she was out of her mind. However, I went on to work as a youth pastor, lecturer, teacher, and now a psychologist. Starting as a Theology undergraduate, I eventually worked alongside my mother for over eight years. My experience underscores the value of early exposure to various career possibilities.  Psychology Graduation Benefits of a Career Assessment in Grade 9
Is Grade 9 Too Early for a Career Assessment? Grade 9 is an excellent time for your child to explore different career options. This process can help them reach career maturity sooner. A follow-up conversation in Grade 11 or 12 can then fine-tune their choices, making the career selection process much easier. Take the Next Step Make an appointment today to support your child’s career happiness and help them make informed subject choices that align with their future aspirations. With these insights and resources, you can confidently navigate the Grade 9 subject choice process, ensuring your child is well-prepared for their future. If finances are a concern, check out my blog on Main Things to Consider When Helping Your Teenager Choose a Career, which guides you through a free process of career exploration. 
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These days it is expected of a 17 or 18-year-old to pick a career. They might be scared of choosing the wrong course or being stuck in a career that makes them unhappy. These fears are expected, thus, prioritising time to think about and allow your child to explore various fields is important for their future career happiness.  Some good news is that moving between career fields has become easier. An undergraduate degree could be seen as a starting point instead of a final career destination. In various fields, it is quite easy to jump from one field to another by doing a one-year bridging postgraduate certificate or diploma. Doing a postgraduate certificate in education after completing any NQF 7-level qualification is mostly possible, available for instance at Stadio or Pretoria University. Another example would be going into business and doing a postgraduate diploma in business administration at Gordon Institute of Business Science (GIBBS) or Wits Business School (WBS). My story involved undergoing my Postgraduate studies in Psychology after completing a degree in Theology while my wife's path entailed her moving from Accounting to Education to Psychology after she completed a BCom(Law) degree. We are living proof that it is possible to move from one field to another, but we are also perhaps an illustration of individuals who had a lack of exposure to different careers early in our lives. Here are some tips to help your teenager explore various career fields;  1) Talk to people Encourage your child to have conversations with people about possible careers. Covid-19 has made it difficult to shadow people or talk to them face-to-face. However, doing this helps to get a feel for the career that your child is considering. Also inspire them to talk to people outside of your circle of influence as your child might get stuck in what family and friends know, instead of exploring the unknown. On the other hand, Covid-19 has forced all generations, young and old, to use more technologically advanced platforms, like Google Teams, Zoom, and Skype. So make use of the acceleration in technology and accessibility that has come with the pandemic. Also, try to connect with people in other countries whose experiences might broaden your view of career fields on another level. 2) Explore career options for free 2.1) Gostudy On gostudy.net your child might be able to further their understanding of different careers available at the moment. For instance, we all are familiar with a Physiotherapist; navigating through the website might introduce related careers like a Biokineticist, Chiropractor, or Osteopath (a medical specialisation not available in SA at the moment). This website describes various careers, what personal requirements you should have for the field, and tertiary institutions where you can go and study them. Not all careers are included, and the information is not always 100% accurate, but it is a great opening move for your child to explore different future careers.  2.2) Onetonline Another useful website is Onetonline.org. The website is American based and might be a bit complicated to use at times. One of the exciting aspects is the "bright outlook" categorisation, which includes careers that; are expected to grow rapidly, will provide you with job opportunities, or are emerging career fields. The website also includes requirements for the occupation, experience needed, and employee characteristics. 2.3) Youtube Motivate your child to watch Youtube clips on the careers they find interesting to identify the various contexts of how the qualification plays out in real life. For instance, here is a video on the basics of Engineering; Alternatively, your child can consider going to an Engineering week that provides exposure to the various Engineering fields. Like the University of Pretoria's Engineering Week (EBIT Week). Alternatively, allow your child to go to their local University's open days. Due to Covid-19, these might only be available online, like Stellenbosch University having an online open day earlier this year in April.
You are welcome to make an appointment today if you prefer a professional to guide you through the process of a career choice for your teenager.
From an early age, it's crucial to engage with your child to foster their career interests. While you might only be able to introduce a limited range of possible career options, starting small is still beneficial. Encourage your child to have conversations with friends and family to broaden their career curiosity. Here are some considerations to develop your child's career aspirations without financial strain: 1) Personality It's essential to understand what comes naturally to your child. Do they gain energy from being around people, or do they prefer solitude? Would they thrive in a structured job or one that's more dynamic and less desk-bound? A free personality questionnaire, like the one on 16Personalities, can be a good starting point. While the results may not always be fully accurate, they can provide valuable insights, especially with your guidance.
2) Interest Observing what magazines your child reads or what topics they frequently search on Google can reveal their interests. While these interests might not directly link to a career, they offer a valuable starting point for career development. Additionally, identifying their favourite subjects or specific aspects of subjects can highlight their passions, while less appealing subjects might indicate fields to avoid. For a more structured approach, consider using the free interest questionnaire on GoStudy. 3) Aptitude/skills Aptitude refers to a natural ability to do something. Identifying the subjects your child excels in can provide clues, though performance can vary for many reasons. Online IQ or aptitude assessments may not always be relevant to the South African context, but practical skills can be very telling. For instance, if your child has a knack for practical work, they might consider a trade like plumbing, diesel mechanics, or electrical work. Institutions like Soltech in Pretoria are dedicated to training tradespeople, addressing a critical need in South Africa.
Some countries list various trades on their critical skills occupations list, which can provide quick access to work opportunities abroad. For example, plumbing is on Canada’s list. 4) Values Understanding what your child values most in life is crucial for making a fulfilling career choice. Do they prioritize earning a high salary or helping others? Are they focused on maintaining fitness, family time, travel, creativity, career advancement, or working from home? Aligning career choices with these values ensures long-term satisfaction and balance. Other values might include travelling, creativity, variety, being able to advance in your career, or working from home. Taking the Next Step If identifying and integrating these categories seems challenging, a career assessment with a trained psychologist can provide specific guidance and options. You can make an appointment today to support your child's career happiness and ensure they make informed career choices that align with their future aspirations. Is a good relationship with a teenager even possible, you might wonder, seeing that they are unpredictable, emotionally charged, and moody? Walsh (2012) remarks that we need to be ready for changes in our teenager's developmental needs and allow them to become more autonomous and independent during adolescence, but maintain a close parent-teenage relationship. Walsh (2012) continues that if a parent-child relationship is lacking, it might lead to higher chances of substance abuse and pregnancy during this phase. I want to share a few thoughts with you. Things that I’ve realised while raising my own two beautiful children: 1) Set clear boundaries Parents want what is best for their children but often make mistakes, like not setting clear boundaries and rules. Rules are good, as it gives a teenager security, without him realising. Negotiate rules with your child, and include him in the process. 2) You can NOT be your child’s best friend Some parents want to be cool. Truth be told, you will never be cool enough for teenagers. Your child doesn’t need you to be his friend, he has his friends. Many parents don't realise the transition that takes place psychosocially. According to Erikson, at the age of 11/12 (depending on puberty), your child needs to find his identity with friends (Snowman & McCown, 2014). This is much needed to understand their role in society and feel accomplished in their role. A teenager wants a parent that he can trust with his deepest, and often confusing, thoughts. He wants someone he can confide in, someone that will give an honest opinion, that will be available when he wants to talk, but who is also willing to give him space when he needs it. Your child’s best friend is not going to make him follow rules or give him the best advice. You must be able to discipline your child and be okay with the fact that he will not always like you for doing that. This does not mean you can not have fun with your child and you should prioritise quality time together. Find something both of you enjoy.  3) Don’t break trust If you expect your teenager to be honest, trust him, and tell him you trust him. This gives him the responsibility to be truthful. Many adolescents feel that they can not be trusted and therefore lie to their parents. When your child tells you something in confidence, he needs you to keep it confidential. Don’t discuss his feelings with family or friends because if he finds out (and he will), trust will be hard to restore. 4) Be emotionally available and listen without judging Communication is key. Walsh (2012) mentions the importance of teenagers expressing their opinion, values, aspirations, interests, and feelings. Be available when your child wants to speak to you, even if it seems unimportant to you. When he has something to say, be expectant to hear what they have to say. Your teenager might have the most ridiculous thoughts and ideas as he discovers himself. He will do things that you don’t approve of, he will bounce ideas off you and ask for your opinion or test the boundaries that you have set. When you judge what he says and does, you destroy his self-esteem and confidence. Patterson et al. (2009) recommend that you have openness and a basic acceptance of your teenagers to harvest trust between parent and child and allow your teenager to feel you are guiding them alongside them. Listen and let him finish his idea…This might be difficult, but stay calm. If you don’t agree with something, give a good reason why, and explain it, without saying: “because I said so”. Suggest an alternative, that will make him think about things. This is also known as the Authoritative parenting style (click here for more info on parenting styles). 5) Apologise when you were wrong Parents make mistakes. We hurt our children’s feelings and we are unreasonable at times. Apologise. Explain that you’ve had a bad day at work, or that you are not feeling well. You will be surprised how well he understands and how forgiving he is. You might even be lucky and get a cup of tea. And remember, when he apologises for something, forgive immediately and without reservation. A term coined by Carl Rogers is having unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard is having an attitude that allows your child to feel accepted and loved and contributes to their self-esteem and confidence (Rogers, 1946). This does not mean that you approve of everything your child does or have a mindset to give your child free rein to be dangerous or unhealthy (click here for more). 6) Listen to the song he wants you to hear… Just when you are in the middle of something important, he will casually ask you to listen to this awesome new song. You might find it difficult to hear the words or relate to the style of music but listen carefully because music is a teenager’s language. Your teen is trying to make sense of a world that often doesn't make sense. "Music appeals to many teens who discover that the words in popular songs often express their feelings and experiences," says clinical social worker Kathryn Rudlin. "Teens tend to gravitate to music describing what they are feeling and what is important to them." Acknowledge it, and talk about the “song” (his feelings). Listen to it again… and this time turn up the volume!  Written by Illse de Beer (Life Coach)
About the author: Illse is a self-motivated mother of two with more than twenty years experience. Illse has an interest in people and enjoys facilitating the change and growth of clients. It is her passion to encourage personal development and support people in achieving their goals.
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In Grade 11 it is very important to create a platform for a happy and successful career. Grade 11 is the time to narrow the focus of possible careers options. This is possible through a career assessment, usually with the help of a psychologist. These assessments costs between R2000 and R6000 ($135 to $405). In Switzerland around 66% of learners aged 15 already has to know what career they want to pursue. These teenagers receive training by an employer (apprenticeship) and attends a vocational school for two days a week (click here).  Alternatively, if money is tight, have a conversation with your child about careers and encourage further career exploration. The earlier the better, of course (also read my article on Grade 9 subject choice for more tips - click here). Some benefits of doing a Grade 11 career assessment: 1. Knowing the course requirements The next few months is the ideal time for such an assessment. This may help your child align school performance with the course they find interesting. It will also help your child to know what the goal they are working towards is. For instance, reaching an Admission Points System (APS) score of 28 will allow admission to Education at Pretoria University (click here). Your APS calculation is different from University to Univerrsity; for more on how Pretoria University calculate theirs, click here).
3. Facilitating your child’s personality development Some personalities struggle to put in the long hours required to do as well as they are capable of. It might help to understand your personality’s shortfalls and develop skills to be successful at school (EQ). 4. Peace of mind  Some clients want to confirm the career they are considering. I don’t mind this, under two conditions;
i) Don’t tell me what you are considering! I would much rather confirm your option(s) during feedback. ii) Be open-minded. After some deliberation a new career or field might surprise you. During the last few years, career choices in South Africa has become more challenging. This is due to the increasing unemployment rate (35,3% - click here) as well as certain career fields becoming more competitive. Of course, career assessment can’t guarantee employment, but it provides the best starting point for careers in South Africa (or abroad). Allow me to guide you and your child to make an informed career choice. Book an appointment today (click here). When talking to people, almost everyone feels that there is just not enough time in the day to do what needs to be done, let alone to do it well. It is easy to see other people’s efficiency, but we seldom work on our effectiveness.  Philip Kotler, an American marketing author, consultant, and professor said “When it comes to efficiency and effectiveness, I would always start with effectiveness. I am interested in reaching a certain result. Only secondary do I worry about achieving it as efficiently as possible”. In other words: efficiency is about doing everything well, whereas effectiveness is doing well that which is important. It is more likely for efficient people to feel stressed because they just feel that there isn’t enough time to do everything as agreeably as they would like. Effective people make choices. They focus on what needs doing and then on getting that done. Effective people are less likely to ‘sweat the small stuff’! Some ideas to raise your effectiveness: 1. Don’t procrastinate When we procrastinate, we tend to be aware that we’re evading the task in question and convince ourselves that doing so is likely a bad idea. And yet, we do it anyway. It leads to waste and builds mountains out of molehills. When you need to complete something – just do it. Stop the excuses. Everyone has to do things they don’t enjoy sometimes. DO IT!  2. Prioritise Don’t do too many tasks at once. Rather prioritise your actions and you will get more accomplished in less time. If you struggle to do this, make a list of things that needs to be done, the dates when it has to be completed, and also what consequences there will be if the task is not done on the desired date. 3. Learn to say NO; guilty-free We can easily fall into the “people-pleasing” trap. We want people to think that we are efficient and therefore we have to be available. Even though it might be part of who you are to want to help others, be aware that people-pleasers often end up being taken advantage of by others. Always do your best for others, but don’t forget yourself and the things you need to do for yourself. 4. Make time for you  Ensure that you give yourself at least 30 minutes a day to something you enjoy. Take your focus off work and revitalise yourself. You know what you need to relax; walk the dogs, bake, read a book, drink coffee with a friend or just sit and listen to music. Take time out, and enjoy that time without thinking about anyone or anything. You will feel re-energised afterward.
Remember that effective people have the desire to improve and the persistence to do so. Written by Illse de Beer (Life Coach) About the author: Illse is a self-motivated mother of two with more than twenty years experience. Illse has an interest in people and enjoys facilitating the change and growth of clients. It is her passion to encourage personal development and support people in achieving their goals.  As a teenager I started working as a youth pastor in Cape Town, South Africa. I have always liked working with people, but I somehow wanted more out of my career than what I was doing at the time. I wanted skills to help people reach their personal best, which lead me to Psychology. Is it worth making a career change? In 2013, I started with my career change. Little did I know, how long the road ahead was. It was in 2018 that I finally completed my studies, what a glorious day indeed. You may ask yourself; 'Is it worth making a career change at 30?' or, for others, a career change at 20 or even 50. Look within your existing career field for alternatives, before making a career change. There may be something at your current company or within your current field that fits you like a glove. Consider moving after you have exhausted all the options within your current field. Many people have changed careers with great success. This may involve the odd uncomfortable feeling of being unsure, but you are not alone in this exciting journey. For me it was worth the effort to make the career change in my twenties. Not to say that I would not have enjoyed being a pastor, but what I do now, surpasses all initial possibilities. Using various ways to guide people to find their place and contribute to the world, is what I love about my job(s).  What do I need to consider before making a career change? Some advice before quitting your job:
When is the best time to do a career assessment?  The best time is while you or your child is still in school, Grade 9-12 (junior or senior high). This allows a teenager to become career ready and plan for their future career. This may even lead to higher motivation and performance in school. "Okay, but I'm not in school and I haven't done such an assessment before". Why not make an appointment now? Becoming an Educational Psychologist was a long journey, but now I love what I do. This makes it all worth the effort. I have gathered skills along the way and, even if I could, I would not change a thing about the path I've followed. After all, life is about more than just the destination...  What career change did you make in your life? What would you like to add?
The following 21 days is a great opportunity to develop yourself, your family, or give back to others. Here are some practical ideas that you can do during the lockdown which may benefit you in the long run.  1) Free online courses or skills There's various FREE online resources available. I intend to sharpen my cooking skills and feed my interest in business in the weeks to come. For the younger crowd or those young at heart; consider some new dance moves or workout ideas on TikTok or Youtube. If you want to develop your current skills, explore Coursera, EdX, and Open University. They are all FREE and linked to credible training institutes. There are over 2500 courses compiled by Universities like YALE and Stanford.  I have introduced some online services that you might find a worthwhile future investment. These include:
Refer to my blog on career disposition to destination to find out more on this. If you're interest in the services above, click here. 2) Develop your relationships This is a great time to strengthen your family relationships at home, online, or by phone. At home you could have more quality time by playing board games or cards together. Also, it is a good time to teach someone a new skill, like cooking, cleaning or gardening.  Make a habit of checking in with loved ones (online or by phone). I'll be in contact with one of my good friends in Eastbourne (England) and nearby in Pretoria (South Africa). I've heard on radio of a family having weekly dinner parties on Skype (download Skype here). The one part of the family is in South Africa and the other in England. I'll also continue to ask my brother for help over the phone with some practical work around the house. Why not teach or ask someone to teach you a new skill online or over the phone? Also, I have introduced online services to develop relationships between family members. This will include an online personality assessment and a 50-minute online session for R550. Please click here. 3) Start a blog, write or listen more It is easy to start a blog. Join Wordpress or Wix. It might take a while to figure out how these sites work, but once you get going, it is a pure joy. Listen to audio books online, for FREE! Audible has given access to their website for free in the lockdown time. I commend the Audible team for this great initiative; click here. Also refer to other resources:  You can also consider writing in a journal. Research shows various benefits of journal writing. Of course, this is not a complete list, but a starting point. Please add some of your own ideas in the comment section below.
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